As I was out walking the streets this morning, I was thinking how life is sort of like that. There are ups and downs and flats.

In my classes and with students/clients, I’m often talking about upper/lower limits. Some call it the “comfort zone.”

I’ve noticed that when people come up against an upper limit of good they (unconsciously) think they can have, they’ll often (unconsciously, again) become anxious or fearful, smack up against that upper limit, then slam back down to where they are more comfortable. At that point, they have choices; sideways, or up.

To me, this is like climbing hilly streets. If one is not in shape, one of the best ways up is to go up as far as you can, then go sideways awhile, then up the next street, sideways and up. Instead, many will go all the say up, then all the way down and the next morning, they’re so sore, they don’t want to go out again and don’t ~ until they talk themselves into doing it again ~ if ever. They’re back in their “comfort zone”.

Sometimes people will get up to a certain place (plateau), stay there awhile, then move up some more. That’s how I got myself in shape to climb a local mountain… climb, stop, breathe, climb, stop, breathe, until I reached the top.

It seems many of us are in a hurry to have things happen. When they open up, we want to take advantage. Not a problem. Just know that, if you go up, when you come down, you wont be down as far as you were when you started. You’ll have some learnings under your belt; you may be healthier; maybe have made more connections… all well and good! Excellent even!

Just remember to stop, breathe and carry on! As long as you’re moving… life will support you.. Always has so far, hasn’t it?

Enjoy and Injoy,

Revvell
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Recently on forums and with people I work with, similar issues are coming up… people are upset because others aren’t giving them what they want or need.

For instance, they go to a “friend” or family member’s home and their families don’t accept them for what they do or who they are. Maybe they’ve changed their food program; maybe it’s the way they are raising their children; maybe it’s the spouse or even a new name they’ve chosen. Whatever!!!!

Instead of sitting with them and having an intelligent discussion, they (family members/”friends”) will roll their eyes, make sarcastic comments or show some other signs of disapproval. 

After that, the people who are not getting the support get upset and will write it out on a forum or go to people who DO support them, or come here and complain about these people. If you are one of these people, while you are NOT at this “friend’s” (see the quotes?) or family member’s home, ask yourself these questions:

1~ If I didn’t attach the word “friend” or “dad”, “mom” “aunt” “uncle”, “relative” to this person (these people), would I still hang out with them?

2~ why am I still trying to get them to accept me? 

3~  what will I have if they do accept me?

4~ why don’t I just go out and find people who know me as I am instead of trying to change others?

5~ how is it I don’t like them wanting me to change yet, I want them to be the way “I” want them to be?

6~ what’s the worst that can happen if I eliminate them from my life?

7~ what’s the best that can happen if I eliminate them from my life?

8~ why do I keep going back? 

Here are a few sentence completions (say the stem and complete it. Repeat 6-10 times with different endings):

a) One reason I keep dealing with people who don’t support me is….

b) One reason I feel guilty for being me (not seeing them on holidays; living YOUR life, etc.) is….

c) One reason I look outside myself for love and acceptance is…

d) If I found love and acceptance internally…

That’s one method I use to help clients get clarity on their issues whether they be financial, relational, physical, etc. 

Living one’s life in freedom ~ freedom from looking outward for others’ approval ~ is amazing! The more we keep ourselves locked up and playing small, the “safer” we think we are yet, I see so much unhappiness when people do this. At the end of our lives, do we want to say “… what if I had…” or “I’m so glad I did…”?

Revel in life!

Revvell

Revvellations

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