Recently on forums and with people I work with, similar issues are coming up… people are upset because others aren’t giving them what they want or need.

For instance, they go to a “friend” or family member’s home and their families don’t accept them for what they do or who they are. Maybe they’ve changed their food program; maybe it’s the way they are raising their children; maybe it’s the spouse or even a new name they’ve chosen. Whatever!!!!

Instead of sitting with them and having an intelligent discussion, they (family members/”friends”) will roll their eyes, make sarcastic comments or show some other signs of disapproval. 

After that, the people who are not getting the support get upset and will write it out on a forum or go to people who DO support them, or come here and complain about these people. If you are one of these people, while you are NOT at this “friend’s” (see the quotes?) or family member’s home, ask yourself these questions:

1~ If I didn’t attach the word “friend” or “dad”, “mom” “aunt” “uncle”, “relative” to this person (these people), would I still hang out with them?

2~ why am I still trying to get them to accept me? 

3~  what will I have if they do accept me?

4~ why don’t I just go out and find people who know me as I am instead of trying to change others?

5~ how is it I don’t like them wanting me to change yet, I want them to be the way “I” want them to be?

6~ what’s the worst that can happen if I eliminate them from my life?

7~ what’s the best that can happen if I eliminate them from my life?

8~ why do I keep going back? 

Here are a few sentence completions (say the stem and complete it. Repeat 6-10 times with different endings):

a) One reason I keep dealing with people who don’t support me is….

b) One reason I feel guilty for being me (not seeing them on holidays; living YOUR life, etc.) is….

c) One reason I look outside myself for love and acceptance is…

d) If I found love and acceptance internally…

That’s one method I use to help clients get clarity on their issues whether they be financial, relational, physical, etc. 

Living one’s life in freedom ~ freedom from looking outward for others’ approval ~ is amazing! The more we keep ourselves locked up and playing small, the “safer” we think we are yet, I see so much unhappiness when people do this. At the end of our lives, do we want to say “… what if I had…” or “I’m so glad I did…”?

Revel in life!

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