Recently I’ve been watching a show called S.W.A.T. (not the long ago t.v. series) and saw how the “negotiators” interacted with those barricaded with or without hostages.

I realize they only show bits and pieces of what’s really going on and what’s really being said yet, from what they show it’s just textbook training, not life. If they talked to me when I was suicidal I’d have killed myself ~ as many of them do. Why? They show no compassion for what’s going on with the ~ hmmm, don’t know what to call him (it’s usually a “him”… so, I’ll just call him “perp” unless I come up with something better before finishing this.)

Himself and I talked about how I’d probably be a really good negotiator ~ left to my own devices, especially having dealt with suicidal depression. Why? Because I know what it felt like to always feel like no one is on your side; everything you do is wrong; what’s the point in going on?

I was considering this and wondering what changed for me? Why did I, all of a sudden, stop feeling that death was the only way out?

Well, one thing was was when I was 13, I was considering ways to do it and I thought that if I had the courage to kill myself, then, I also had the courage to live and find out where my life was going to go. (A thought I remembered numerous times throughout my life.) (Also, if you want to call suicide “the coward’s way out” think about how you are afraid to leave that job or that lousy relationship because your monkey mind is saying that “something is better than nothing” or “being alone is worse” or, the “the next one might be worse”, etc. Even though it’s where we originally came from, death is as unknown to us as life is. It takes courage to die especially by one’s own hand. LMAO! I’m just remembering that I thought I was such a screw up that I probably couldn’t even kill myself right and would end up being a vegetable for the rest of my life. One more thought that kept me alive.)

Not sure where I’m going with this other than one thought was, if one kills him/herself, they may miss that great turnaround where life becomes joy!

Oh! I know why I started this. I was thinking about gang members and how they feel they HAVE to join a gang in order to survive where they are. Many of them are amazingly intelligent, very sensitive and scared.

They often have to create this persona of toughness just to stay alive when in reality, they’re not who they appear to be externally.

What turned my life around was in finding who I really am, not who I pretended to be. When my teacher first told me “you don’t know who you are”, I had no idea what he was talking about. Of COURSE I know who I am. Well, I didn’t. I felt I had to BE tough in order to survive. Well, not true. I have to be me in order to thrive!

Injoy,

Revvell

Bodacious Living

One of the biggest obstacles I see for many people is that they take things personally.

How often I’ve heard them say that someone did something “to them” yet, when I look at the facts, basically, they just did something ~ it wasn’t “to” anyone in particular ~ AND, even if it was, it’s still not personal.

This was brought up to me many years ago. At the end of a transformational weekend, my teacher gave each student a small piece of paper with something written on it. Mine said “Don’t take it personally”.

As I’ve said in many of my writings, we’ve learned so much via those around us, t.v., movies, etc. and we learn reactions instead of conscious response.

For instance, in a recent blog I wrote how my husband had left the hatch on my car open enough to leave the light on which killed the battery. We’re going out for lunch, it’s my birthday and my car wont start.

Many women would have taken it personally! He had done it TO them when actually it had nothing to do with them. It was his own unconsciousness. We pretty much all have those moments.

The other day I had put a question up on FaceBook. Everyone who commented agreed and understood what I was saying except one person who “tried” to turn it into something else by bringing up that I’d been gang-raped, my response to an Amazon review and because I told her what she was saying was separate from what I’d said she called me “childish”. NONE of which had anything at all to do with my question.

I received numerous emails from folk telling me how I should respond, how rude she was, that I should “block” her, etc. I could also have deleted her responses ~ none of which I did.

What was going on with her really had nothing to do with me. Something came up for her and her perception of what I was saying went askew and she brought her own stuff into the conversation.

I know I’ve done that. Haven’t you? *shrugs* It’s not a big thing and it’s not about me! It may not even have been about what I said there! It could very well have begun with something else I’d written or said on one of my UStream shows OR, something that was going on in her own life. Who’s to know? Certainly not I.

This brings up a memory of when I was working at a car dealership. The girlfriend of the manager took a really strong dislike to me and we’d barely ever spoken. I remember she said something nasty to me and I said (paraphrasing) “I don’t know why you dislike me but it seems as though you do. If you ever feel to tell me…” That stopped her. Awhile later she came to me and said I was right and she had no clue as to why. It wasn’t about me but it WAS something about me that brought up something insider of her. It wasn’t personal.

Once you get that pretty much whatever is going on around you (even though my world revolves around me; not everyone else’s does. Hopefully, theirs revolves around them) is not ABOUT you, you become more relaxed with life.

For instance, it use to be that no matter how good I did at something, no matter how many compliments I received, all I needed was that one “negative” (in my view) response and BAM! My day/life was shot!

Now, with all I do, I receive a lot of compliments, appreciations, email, etc. thanking me. While I really enjoy reading them and appreciate folk taking the time of their lives to write, it’s about them, not me! I’m just the catalyst.

By the same token when I read that someone’s blocked me or I find they’ve “unfriended” or “unfollowed” me or they dispute something I write or say, it’s still not about me. They may not have liked something I wrote, or did or said yet, it’s their response to it. It’s not personal to me.

Sort of an addendum. My father died when I was 12. Until I got some help I didn’t realize that I was REALLY angry with him for doing so and kept sabotaging my own relationships because of this unconscious anger. I felt he had left me alone with two people I didn’t like (mother and brother). Well, he had left AND I was left with them yet, he didn’t think “I’m going to die and leave Revvell alone to be abused”. He didn’t “do it to me”. He died. Wasn’t about me. Affected me, yes. But, it wasn’t done “to me”. Make sense?

Revvell

Bodacious Living

On my last UStream show I mentioned that my husband had left the hatch open on my car so when we were headed out on Saturday (my birthday) for lunch, then to an event, my car wouldn’t start. We were planning on taking both vehicles because he was working that evening and was going to leave the event early and go directly to his gig while I’d get to stay and enjoy the event.

Well, since my car wouldn’t start, change of plans. We decided to take his car, go for lunch, then go the the event and then he’d drive me home.

Now, many people would be a bit upset about that. First, the fact that he’d left the hatch open and the battery was dead; secondly because they’d have to leave the event early; 3rd, the inconvenience of having to get the car going and drive it enough to re-charge the battery.

I know many would have been so angry that they’d ruin the rest of the day… maybe not talking to him… accusing him… saying how stupid he was… etc.

For me, my monkey mind wanted to do all that BUT, my more reasonable self was in charge. He knew he was the last to take something out of the car (case of young Thai coconuts) and knew it was most likely he who’d left it open (not that you could see it but open enough to leave the light on and drain the battery). When I told him, he said, “yes, that’s right”. Now, lil monkey was yelling in my ear… “Is that it? ‘That’s right’? What about an apology???”

My rational mind said “you know, he’s probably feeling really crappy about this and already beating himself up. What’s the point? IF he says he’s sorry… what then? Do I REALLY need to make him “more” wrong? Will that make me more right? And, if so, so what? Ego is fed?”

The point of this whole story is, when coming from love, we don’t need to MAKE someone else wrong. The programmed part of me really wanted to do that but, what would be the point?

What I COULD have done and what many WOULD have done is, get pissed off and spoil the whole day if not the whole weekend! Yell about his un-consiousness and TRY and make him feel bad. Not talked to him for whatever length of time as punishment.

Where do we learn this type of behavior? I’ve seen it SO often in books and on t.v. shows and in the movies where one party becomes angry and doesn’t even tell the other party why. They feel SO in control when the other person keeps saying “just talk to me! Just tell me what’s wrong!” I remember having the conversation myself with ex’s. It’s ridiculous!

I remember a line in the movie “Get Shorty” where there had been a shootout and sometime later one character asked the other, “aren’t you scared?” The other said “I was scared then, I’m not now, how long I got to be scared?”

For me, that works across the board. “How long I got to be mad?”

One time someone told me “In a years time you wont even remember this. Why wait?”

So, why wait? Why not drop the anger (and dropping is NOT suppressing!) and move on! How often have you wondered what the arguement/fight was even about?

IF I had gone the way so many do, I’d have missed out on a lovely lunch with him; hanging out with him that afternoon at the event; riding to it and back with him AND, kissing him before he went off to work.

NOW, what if something had happened to him on his way to or from work? What IF I’d have stayed angry?

See? What’s the point? Anger is a natural emotion. Staying angry is ego. Trying to control someone.

Oh! The second part. Sunday morning I had a class at 7:30. I thought I’d call AAA, have them start the car and the battery would recharge on the way to class. The driver showed up 30 minutes later. My bad. I did say it was a Prius but I didn’t say my drive was long and narrow and a battery pack would be needed if they brought a tow truck.

So, the guy brings a huge tow truck, no battery pack and knows nothing about Prius’. He told me we could roll the car down the drive. Ummm, it’s dead. Without power you can’t even put it in neutral.

So, I decided to leave a message for Himself which basically said, “I’ll be home in 3 hours. Please call AAA and tell them to send someone who knows about Prius’ and to bring a battery pack.” Pretty much was a bit irritated so saying “You broke it, now fix it”. So, I go to class, get home about 10:30 a.m. and my note and key are exactly where I’d left them. I heard him upstairs and knew he’d not even seen it so, I threw it away.

Yes, lil monkey child was at it again. “He’s just getting up??? You’ve GOT to tell him!! He’s GOT to take care of this” blah, blah, blah!

What I did was, go up and greet him. His first words, “would you like to go out for birthday weekend brunch?” Hell yeah!!

So, called AAA again, told them to send someone who knows about Prius and to bring a battery pack. They did. The car started immediately! We went out for brunch, did some shopping and had a truly wonder-filled birthday weekend.

Now! IF I had listened to the little fur-brat in my head, that would not have happened. I’d have maintained my anger; he’d have been feeling bad and we’d have wasted a really great, loving weekend.

Injoy,

Revvell

Bodacious Living

Wow! What an amazing revvellation!

I’d posted a free ebook recently on a forum I frequent on a thread called “Prosperity Now” and, I saw that over 30 people had looked at it and not one “thank you”! Usually when someone gives us something, we’ve learned to say thank you (unless we don’t feel we deserve it or, it’s not something we’re thank-filled for). I mean that’s basic in growing up ~ Receive a gift ~ “thank you”, no?

So, someone basically chastised me because I mentioned it so, I did my thing and explained my reasoning, blah, blah, blah and, as I was doing my morning appreciations I realized, as much as I appreciate the ebook, as much as I’ve shared it with others, I did NOT thank the person who wrote it and gave it to me!!!

So, I went to the original site ~ Attract Money Now ~ where I thought I could leave feedback. Hmph! No contact info, nothing. So, I thought, where can I contact Joe and thank him? I thought MAYBEEE he’s a “friend” on Facebook! Yup! He is! So, found him and thanked him publicly! I’m also going to spread the word about this book which I find extremely useful AND going to do a review of it on my personal blog ~ here! lol

So, what’s the point here? How often do we thank people in our heads? I do. I do it often. Yet, what good is that doing anybody? Certainly not doing the person being appreciated any good nor the appreciator, really!

Now, did I really want or care if I received thanks for the book? Absolutely not! I gave it because I felt it worth sharing YET, since I hadn’t received thanks, it gave me the perfect reason to share some of what I learned which is, when you give appreciation for something 1) you’ll receive appreciation 2) people are more willing to give when they know people appreciate what you have to give.

If/when you share appreciation to a woman for a dress she’s wearing and she says, “what? this old thing?”… do you feel to give more? How about if she said “Thank you! I appreciate you noticing and saying something!” So! Two people go away beaming, yes?

Do I feel to post anything more on that thread? Not really. Kind of a “why bother” right now EXCEPT for the few who did 1) download the book 2) read the book and 3) took action on what they read AND let me know they appreciated my posting it there. Now THOSE people I feel to give more to. Wouldn’t you?

In actuality, I give a LOT and if one person, whether they thank me or not, receives benefit from what I say/do, more the better.

As I’m writing this, I’m thinking about my playbook and one of the quotes I have in it. While looking for it, I came across this one ~ “Saying thank you is more than good manners. It is good spirituality.” Alfred Painter

Another: “You were given a gift of 86,400 seconds today. Have you used one to say “thank you?” ~ William A. Ward

Another: “If you don’t appreciate what you have, you wont get anymore… because the universe thinks it’s not important to you, and therefore you don’t need anymore.” ~ T. Harv Ecker

The one I was looking for ~

“Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it.” ~ William Arthur Ward

As I’m writing this, I’m overwhelmed with all the things I’m grateful for and never express. I could spend the whole day saying “thank you” to all I have, those I know… wow! Well, living in overwhelm is surely better than living in “whelm” yes?

Thank YOU for reading and any comments.

Revvell

Bodacious Living

I had just finished prepping for my UStream show and gone out for my walk when I realized I NEEDED to come back here and write this up. If I didn’t I’d have said it all in my head and forgotten it by the time I came back.

I’m realizing too that I really need to empty my voice recorders and take one with me every time I go out so I don’t have to cut my walk short. I did get in over 3000 steps before coming home though.

O.k., to the topic at hand ~ being a “Use To” person.

I go to quite a few networking meetings and meet various people and when they see what I eat they’ll ask if I’m vegetarian. When I say “yes” they’ll often say “I USE TO be”.

When I meet people who ride motorcycles, now, I’m a “USE TO” person. Before a friend died in a auto/mc collision and another lost his leg (same crash), I rode. I have to catch myself to not say I “use to” ride so they ask me, why don’t you ride anymore as I don’t want to inject them with MY stuff about riding!

What I like to hear is “I USE TO smoke, drink, do drugs but I don’t anymore!”

Instead I hear “I USE TO do daily appreciations; walk every day; exercise; eat well, etc.” I also know I’m not going to ask them why they don’t any more. It’s not my biz. I don’t want to hear their dreary excuses for why they don’t.

This came up for me recently in an online conversation with a gent who told me his girlfriend “use to” be a vegetarian ~ before she met him. Enough said.

What brought this up for me is a couple of times over the past months I’ve caught myself saying “I USE TO be able to get up off the floor easily” and “before I got married I USE TO go walking daily”.

For me, when I say “I USE TO”, I want it to be consciously attained. By that I mean “I USE TO be a meat eater (well, it’s been 24 years now); I USE TO procrastinate on getting in my daily play; I USE TO be angry; I USE TO contemplate suicide (that’s over 15 years ago)…

See what I mean? Keep the good and USE TO the not-so good. Now, I want to say I CAN get up off the floor easily; I DO get up and move daily; I AM aware of what goes in my mouth and supports MY body.

Comments?

Injoy, Revvell

Bodacious Living

Yesterday, I had a 5-hour kettlebell class. We also had a 2-hour break after the first three hours.

After the class, my teacher (Zenkahuna on YouTube ~ you “may” see me there after the weekend when he returns from the Rancho and puts up the vids) said that he wants to do this 3 more times this year (at $250 times each) and for two hours every month he has a weekend with his students (at $100 each) equaling $1800 for the year.

Immediately my lil monkey starts gibbering in my ear that we can’t do this. Of course we can! That’s ridiculous! lol

I currently have more than enough money to do that if I don’t make another dime yet, it goes to show, old monkey mind habits die hard.

Most of my life it was hard for me to understand that, I’ve always had money. Even when I got fired from my jobs (which was often because I always thought I could run the business better than they could) I’d KNOW I’d have a job within 2 weeks (which I always did) and I ALWAYS had funds to survive in between.

I was going to say it wasn’t until I worked outside, away from the “bosses” that I actually kept jobs for longer than 3 months but, that isn’t true. I worked for one chiropractor for about 5 years until he injured (and failed to take care of) his arm and sold his practice to a very unscrupulous guy who was committing insurance fraud. Being able to do that proved to me how much I’d changed and let others run their own businesses.

Anyway, about abundance.

Yesterday, instead of driving, I got to ride with someone. It gave me a chance to let my mind wander and I was thinking about money.

Many times in the past I realized I was hanging on to my last $20. It actually WASN’T my last $20 because I ALWAYS had funds in the bank but, for me, that wasn’t there. That money was my security and I held onto it for dear life, again stopping the flow and circulation.

So, I strangled that $20 until I really needed to purchase something and, you know what? More came in! Before that, I had so much fear around giving up that $20 and then HAVING to dip into my savings that, I blocked the energy flow.

Yesterday, as I got to be the passenger, I was thinking about abundance and flow.

Think of two people and a doorway. One wants to go out (the $20 I DID have) and, another wants to come in (the abundance I wasn’t open to, although, I’d say I was). One is trying to go out while the other is coming in resulting in blockage or stagnation.

Solution, the one coming in steps aside, so the one going out can go out, then the one coming in can come in. That’s called circulation!

Consider circulating your money, not spending it. Look at the last 3 letters of the word “spend”. The circulation stops! That’s what happens when we hoard our money as well, Now, I’m not saying go out and blow it! That’s sp”end”ing, instead of circulating. What I am saying is, let go of the fear of letting it go! When you strangle it, it can’t flow. I know.

Remember, live bodaciously and always, celebrate your potential ~

Revvell

Bodacious Living

p.s. Right after I wrote this, one of my very long time clients called. He’s been coming VERY sporadically ~ maybe, once a month. Today, he called and is setting up two appointments a month. Nice way to begin the new year, eh?

Things don’t really irk me much and once I write this out, it’ll be GONE! DONE! I don’t dwell anymore like I use to because life is SO grand and wonder-filled that I just don’t have time for it so, gonna put it out here and let it go!

(What I’m doing here is showing you how to live a stress-free life! So many would let something like this go on and on in their heads for DAYS! … and be binging while doing it. lol)

Anyway, I put out my blog from yesterday on a few sites I’m on and received some truly great responses. Thank you!

Today, I received a response from one person saying she was “shocked” at the price of my program! (What?? It’s too low? heh!) Well, I have to say, I’m shocked that she is shocked! (How’s that for a comeback? )

Since reading that, I’ve looked at it in various ways (this is good for you to do if you are planning programs yourself).

First, let’s start with my training. I began researching health and healing about 34 years ago. I spent 16 years in “formal” training which cost me literally thousands of dollars. I’ve got books, dvds, cds (again, investments of THOUSANDS of dollars) and articles (o.k., basically free except for the paper I printed them out on and the ink to print) which I’ve studied.

For 34 years I’ve used myself as the guinea pig in healing asthma, allergies, infections, depression, injuries, excess weight and more caused by various things including food choices, societal imprints, emotions and unawareness/consciousness.

I’ve got knowledge I’ve gained through my own study as well as knowledge gained from other people and their studies, knowledge and wisdom. I’ve got understanding from my own healings plus the hundreds of students and clients I’ve worked with. I’ve got wisdom from just staying alive for 60 plus years and the ongoing healing and health I’m experiencing.

So, let’s get down to the nitty-gritty. The price of “Tap Into Your Ideal Weight“. Pretty much the price people charge for their trainings/coachings/teleclasses/webinars, etc. is arbitrary. If you ask them, I’m guessing they probably can’t tell you how they came up with their price.

Recently I paid $1995 for a program that was supposed to help me be a better marketer. I was sorely disappointed. The first few sessions were quite good. After she got past the “100% guarantee” part of the program (if you didn’t feel you were receiving your money’s worth by a certain time, you could receive your money back) the program went down-hill. It was sad. The first hour of the final 90 minutes of the program, she might just as well have been off the call. She even admitted she wasn’t only not present mentally, she was looking at her other site! The final half hour of that 90 minute session she spent upselling her next program. The “bonus” hour we received she spent ~ yes, upselling her next program.

I don’t DO that! The whole time, I am present; I am available, everyone interacts with me. At NO time do I spend time upselling my next, newest program. (I don’t HAVE one ~ well, not yet, anyway.)

Let’s break it down financially ~

The program runs 6 weeks with each call lasting approximately 90 minutes, PLUS, 2 half-hour one-on-one calls with me.

That’s a full 9 hours of semi-private interactive work/play PLUS, 1 full hour of private. That breaks down to $30 per hour. (I’ve never done this and am now thinking ~ I really need to raise my price EXCEPT! I want to make this affordable to as many people as possible!)

Add in the time I spend preparing for each session and the time I spend after, cleaning up the notes and adding in whatever I feel can make it even more informational and the hourly to me is even less.

ALSO, my engineer takes time out of HIS life to edit the audio and post it so participants can listen to it any time they feel to for FREE (to me). (Very often we’ll miss or forget something that happened that could be very relevant to one’s process so, it’s best to listen to the audio repeatedly).

*big sigh* Wow! O.k! I’m feeling better now.

On to what I REALLY wanted to write about today (which will most likely be uploaded tomorrow. Wait for it!)

Until then,

Yours in health,

Revvell

Bodacious Living

I awakened this morning contemplating weight gain. How fun is that? lol

There are a few ways and reasons I gained in the first place.

First was possibly menopause yet, I’m not sure of that one. I hadn’t gained before I got married at 55 and I’d gone into it a few years before OR, maybe I just didn’t notice which we’ll get into in a bit ~ the noticing, I mean.

One thing I’m sure of is going out and eating. Once I realized how much I’d gained since getting married (we could blame the marriage yet, that would be the surface, same as most dieters do ~ blame the food), being me, I had to really look at my habits, my new cravings and my emotional eating patterns.

What happened was, 6 years or so ago, I met a man I wanted in my life forever. I’d ALWAYS said, I saw no purpose in ever getting married and, that was true, until we met.

After knowing him for about 10 months or so, I was headed over to his home country to meet his friends and family as well as visit his country.

A few weeks before going over, he told me that he’d called the embassy about how he could come to the U.S. and stay with me. Their response “Marry her”. When he told me this, I asked “Well, do you want to?” He said “what”? Me ~ “Get married?”. I think he said something like “well, I guess so”. Anyway, he started the paperwork on his end with the outcome being we’d get married in Denmark, then go to Copenhagen where I had to file to get him over here.

So, that’s the background story ~ now, the fat part.

In all my life I’d never been in a REALY healthy relationship. Every relationship I’d been in, I gave up me to be with he meaning none of what I did was as important as what he was doing so, I’d always get involved.

This relationship began similarly. First, I dropped my healthy eating habits. I still stayed vegetarian yet, when we went out to eat, which was often, I’d eat things I normally wouldn’t and I’d overeat. If/when we go to buffets, I felt I had to eat enough to get his money’s worth. Even when full, I’d finish because I didn’t want to leave food I’d chosen, on the plate AND, I’d always have dessert. Not much but SOME!

Secondly, even when we went out to a sit-down meal and was given more than I could eat, I’d finish it because “it’s only a few bites” ~ no matter how full I was.. “it’s only a few bites”. Well, those “few bites” cost in weight gain. If we’d only gone out occasionally, there probably would not have been an issue. Since we went out often…

Thirdly, I use to get up and out walking every morning, first thing. Did not turn on the computer, did not eat, did not do anything but get up, get out and get walking! Where I lived, there was a mountain “loop” where I could go up one side, down the other. It’s about 4.5 miles. When I didn’t do that, I lived in a hilly area and could do a different walk almost every day of the week.

After getting married I loved sleeping in and cuddling with him. I vowed I’d get out and walk later. Well, “later” rarely came. In the summer it was too hot. If I didn’t get out early, I didn’t get out. We’d also moved to a “flat” area which to me, was boring so, I’d talk myself out of walking. If I wanted to train with kbs, ropes, etc. I really needed to take everything to a park. Being the lazy wench I’d become… that rarely happened.

One night in class my teacher said 4 of us, including himself were overweight. I was one. When he asked how much I thought I could lose I said “about 20 pounds”. He said “try 25″. Yikes!!!! (He was being generous. It was actually 30).

One thing I really got was how easy it is to gain and not notice! Previously it was SO easy for me to drop weight. So easy in fact that, I’d not notice until someone pointed it out to me (which is the same thing that happened with the gain). At that time, when I was emotional about something (which was often), I’d not eat, therefore, weight loss! Now, when I’m upset, I’ve developed patterns of eating and overeating; comfort and habitual eating.

If you do it slow enough, when you go clothes shopping and you’ve gone up a size, you can rationalize that it’s a different manufacturer and their sizes run small.

So, between eating out often, eating and overeating for emotional reasons, cleaning my plate and not moving ~ as I use to … weight happened.

Oh! the other thing is, as I’d mentioned, I’d not been in a really good relationship EVER! Think there might be some unconscious “protection” going on?

Tomorrow, we’ll talk about weight elimination. In the meantime, feel free to check out my program and find out how to eliminate weight, stay on a healthy food program and drop the cravings, habits and and emotional eating patterns that lead to excess weight gain and sabotage your new year’s resolutions.

Until tomorrow ~

Revvell

Bodacious Living

The other day as I was driving home, this feeling came over me. Now, I’ve had this feeling before yet, not sure I’ve ever written about it. What am I? Yes, I know, the eternal question is, “who am I” yet, I want to know “what am I”?

For the first 45 years or so of my life, I never felt as though I belonged on this earth. Every once-in-awhile I’d feel grounded ~ when dancing, giving my teacher appreciations, doing qigong, riding my motorcycle.

Most of the time though, I was on the verge of suicide. I don’t recall being depressed much of the time yet, I do recall not being happy.

That changed one day when out on my bike, up in the Angeles Crest Forest, I was thinking how easy it would be to just ride off the crest and into ~ well, who knows what? Trees? Many have done that and died and if I timed it right, if no one saw me go over, even if I survived the fall, I’d have died of exposure.

What happened that day was, as I was riding, I realized I’d not ridden the Crest enough; I’d not had enough sushi (vegetarian) in my life; I’d not had enough picnics. So, I rode the Crest, went and got some sushi, took it to a park and enjoyed it. By that time it was almost time for class.

That was the last time I’d ever contemplated suicide. No matter what happens now, I feel it’s a cause for celebration.

Even when a friend died, I celebrated my tears and feelings; even when my last boyfriend broke up with me and I cried every night for a month, I celebrated our having been together and knowing that he was a stepping stone to something better IF I stayed open.

So, what’s up with this feeling? I know what I’m here to do; what my purpose is. I know I’m a “human” (whatever that means); I know I’m a sentient being (whatever that means); yet, why am I here? Why me? Why at this time? WHAT am I, really?

Comments?

Revvell
Bodacious Living

As I was out walking this morning, I was thinking about James Arthur Ray and the predicament he’s currently embroiled in and how it potentially came about energetically.

Previously, I’d heard his name but not much about who he is and what he does so I picked up his book “The Science of Success ~ How to Attract Prosperity and Create Harmonic Wealth Through Proven Principles”.

As I’m reading this, I’m thinking “Geeez, he says all the “right” things yet, what happened???” If he’s living harmonically, what the heck happened?

My guess at this point is, he hit what I call an upper limit. AND, he not only hit it, he slammed into it and BAM! hit the ground!

What happens when one hits an upper limit is, they’ve ignored stuff. They’ve usually ignored the underlying programs that will sabotage what one does, no matter their intentions.

For instance… if you’re looking to build an enterprise of some sort, pay attention to the little scared voices telling you you can’t, aren’t enough, don’t know enough, etc. Those voices are warning you of sabotage.

Be aware of injuries and accidents. These are warning signs that you’re headed for disaster.

Recently I injured my left hand AND my left knee. Energetically hands are about handling things. Legs/feet, about understanding, support and stepping out (although right side tends to be the stepping out more than the left). Left side is also (usually) feminine and receptive.

After doing lots of work with folks over the last few months I decided to take these last two months to just focus on me and what I’m looking to do. Even though I’m still working with private clients, I’d stopped doing teleclasses to take time to integrate what I’d learned and to make them better if possible. I took the time to explore why am I injuring myself? What am I ignoring? Yesterday I received a HUGE aHA! on that.

So, I’m thinking, with a business as big and lucrative as JAR’s, maybe he didn’t take the time to check out the warning signs so, the universe slammed him to the ground. I dunno.

Nowhere in his book have I read where he’s said to acknowledge the fears that come up when you’re making your plans. In my experience, if they are not acknowledged they’ll make their presence known one way or another. Acknowledging them and admitting them, one can usually bypass an accident, disease or injury.

Now, you don’t want to focus on them, just acknowledge.

Recently I had a former student call and ask me about upper limits. She felt that if she ignored them and basically said she didn’t have any, there wouldn’t be any. Well, you can’t say you don’t have something and there not be something to not have.

That’s like saying if I ignore the elephant in the room, it wont be there. Or if I ignore that I keep injuring myself, I wont do it again. Or, if I ignore that smoking makes me cough I wont have lung cancer. Or, if I ignore eating bad food makes me feel bad the next day that it wont…

Not having spoken with James Ray, I don’t know what, if any, indications the universe gave that he was headed for a fall yet obviously, he was not living in harmony with the universe at some level.

Revvell

Bodacious Living